(This is the first in a new blog series I’m starting called Trans* Tuesday. I plan to start a few other series as well, none of which will necessarily be weekly, though I try… I am weak)
Around this time last year(late July/early August 2014) I really began thinking and considering what it might mean for my life that I felt really comfortable in clothing that society said was women’s, that I had always wanted breasts, and that in the majority of my sexual fantasies I was always “female”-bodied.
I tried on my then girlfriend’s dresses, read a lot of stuff online, and then read more and more. Additionally having been raised in a Christian family that believed homosexuality and trans* were distortions of “God’s plan for man” I had to either find a way to reconcile God and my recently discovered identity or give up on God. When I first acknowledged that I didn’t match society’s definitions of “Male” and that I felt more comfortable with a “female” name, clothes, etc… I decided, that even though I didn’t know how to reconcile what I had been taught with who I now knew I was, if God truly existed then what “he” would want, would for me to be true to myself.
My then girlfriend(and current partner) was the first person that I came out to, followed by a friend from high school, one from college and then finally my current oldest friend. (An odd order…) She(my partner) was more supportive than I could have hoped and I have her to thank for my being as comfortable as I was, it was that comfort that allowed me to explore my identity and say “This is who I am!” (Thank you)
Now sitting on a couch in shorts, a cute top, and writing on my laptop I find myself very happy. I have an amazing partner, amazing friends, and I did find the resources I needed to help my understanding of God grow. I no longer have any doubt that “God” IS Love, Compassion, Mercy, and Justice all rolled into a Universe-sized package. Looking ahead to my final year of undergrad I know that I must continue speaking and sharing my story. Hope can be found anywhere, and in a world where children are told “God thinks you are an abomination” Hope is a necessity.
All Life is Precious, Trans Life, Cis life, Animal life, Plant life. All. I am very glad that I made it through my journey alive and I can’t wait to help others do the same.
Create Don’t Kill!